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IMAKIKUASS
The funny thing about this movie, other than it being horrible, is how people defend it. I actually know people who told me things like "you didn't like it because you expected it to be good".
Uhhh. Yay and so the @#$% what? Shouldn't it have been good? Lucas only had a decade and a half to come up with it. He had the good idea's of other authors, and countless others. He had templets from other movies. Yet for some reason MANY people feel the need to defend this movie.
Let me start of with the infamous Jar Jar. First of all, I couldn't care less if Lucas wants to use stereotypes. In fact, he gets his stereo types pretty accurate and so I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. So, yes, Jar Jar is supposed to be a "brown man" but, get this, no one wants him shoved in their face over and over. We get enough of that on WB, MTV, and every other media outlet there is. Science fiction used to be a safe haven from that sort of thing. Everyone would have loved the idea of Jar Jar if Jedi whats-his-face would have chopped him up with his light saber after the first 5 minutes. Alas, no, we had to endure "wheezagonna dye esheeebieubu!" for the duration.
The story was a snoozer. Little Anakin's constant scowling just didn't seem like good acting to me. The Jedi Council meeting was overdone. The whole Naboo story was ridiculous. And then there's the fact that Boba Fett is a little Mexican kid. Darth Maul wasn't memorable at all.
Sigh. The whole movie seemed too forced and at the same time didn't seem to go anywhere. It was also inconsistent with the original trilogy. Yoda was the one who was supposed to have trained Obi Wan NOT Liam Neeson. Jedi, when they die vanish in the original trilogy, only Vader does not. In episode one Obi Wan cremates Liam Nelson. But if he were a Jedi then why not vanish? A hardcore Star Wars fan would try to justify this by making up some kind of hidden plot that Liam Nelson's character wasn't really good but must have had darkness in his heart. Blah blah blah!
If someone else had done the movie then I wouldn't care so much about the inconsistencies but didn't Lucas watch his own movies?
It seems to me that a much better plot line for this trilgoy would have started with the Jedi and the Sith in a HUGE battle on Tatooine. Both the Jedi and Sith end up destroying a home out int he desert, the home of the Skywalker family. The family is killed in the crossfire but through the rubble Yoda finds a baby, however, unbeknownst to Yoda and the other Jedi little Skywalker can already talk but only be heard by the audience, the voice over done by Bruce Willis. As Yoda tries to change his diapers and go shopping little baby Darth Bruce makes witty comments for our amusement.
In episode two Yoda and Skywalker (played by Screech) , now in his late teens, must set off on a deadly mission to recover the Lost Ark in the Temple of Doom. Armed with nothing but a whip, Yoda and his sidekick beat up the Nazi's and save the day from the bad blonde people.
Episode Three... Well, here Anakin rebels against Wacko Yoda after years and years of sexual molestation. Yoda, of course, dismisses Anakin's claims saying that his mother put him up to it so that she could get money. Unfortunately the Jedi already killed Mother Skywalker in episode one so she cannot be Yoda's alibi, which of course adds even more fuel to Anakin's hate. Because of Anakin's confused sexual history he takes on a disguise as The Talented Mr. Ripley and works as the Evil Emporer's bulter, leading to disastrous consequences.
Now isn't this an improvement?
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